ive got my motivation

back, that is.
after reading that someone's blog ;)

 SO WHAT SHOULD I WRITE ABOUT?
 ive lost all my ability to blog (hiperbole-ing there)

my life is still just the same. just like after i finished ze beloved zespiem
nothings changed. repeat, NO~THING

 EDIT:   WARNING: YOU DONT HAVE TO READ THIS. IT'S JUST ME AND MY PROBLEMS. NOT THAT INTRESTING ANYWAY :)

sometimes i pity myself the most upon remembering that THIS is supposed to be my freedom time
the one that i crave for when im battling in that deathly battle
the one that im supposed to have before i put my feet into the new world. or so they said.
but i guess im just the one with the responsibilties. they cant just leave me alone dont they
so, because of this tiny little minute thing,
ive failed to obtain the 3 things that r on the top of my bucket list
funny.
when i feel that i could not hold it in anymore, i talked to my mom
but it always end up with me feeling sorry for her instead.
so, in the end it's always me consoling myself
but it's just hard . gettting yourself together
compared to it falling apart which is soooo freaking damnly easy

sometimes, i really feel that im an ungrateful person (or bitch, if im being harsh lol)
when im all troubled, stressed out with this thing,
there r more unfortunate people out there. like reaaaaaallly unfortunate.
but i just cant help it.
im just a mere human being with patience-capacity as tiny as amoeba
and just so that you know, i can be reaaaaally bitchy towards others when im in that self-pitiying mode
and im just really sorry to those who have to experience that. really.

so now, ive figured out a way to let me experience the day like others
i'll wake up at 5.30 am and if im fast enough, it'll end in 7.30.
before this, i woke up at 7.30  and be done near 10
i figured out thats not how i want to spend my morning
so i worked out that new arrangement lol
i think im more happy with this.


dearie me,
pls be patient for this month to end
because they said it'll take 2 more weeks.
(yeah u read that right 2 MORE WEEKS again.)
and they also said that the other thing will be at the end of this month too
so please, just summon a lil bit more of patience

wow. soo long ahh? haha


p/s: mara is open today but i still am not sure about the programs...? :'(